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  ** Welcome to Rachel's LoVe Paradise **

I am not a perfect girl. My hair does not always stay in peace& I spill things a lot. I am pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight& maybe some days nothing goes right. BUT when I think about it&take a step back I remember how amazinglife truly is, and maybe, just maybe. I like being unperfect!!!! This is who I am.

 

 

 

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Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

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11/4/2009

《He's Just Not That Into You》

 

电影的开头,很有趣。­

从非洲某部落的土著,到纽约高级餐厅里的白领,­

从体态富贵的中年妇人,到魔鬼身材的窈窕少女,­

世界上,几乎每一个角落里,都有女生在问:­为什么他没有给我打电话?为什么他不来找我?为什么他突然失去了联系?­

然后,这样的女生身边,总有一群劝解她的死党好友。­

好友总是说,他这样做只是因为太爱你了也许他害羞也许他自卑也许他不知道怎么联络你相信我,他肯定是喜欢你的”……­

女人们只想赶快让姐妹们笑起来,却很少想该怎么让她们清醒。­

事实是,也许他只是不想找你。­

电影说,如果一个男人真的喜欢你,他会动用一切力量去找到你,手机,email,msn,google……­

这已经不是石器时代了,真正喜欢你,即便经历海啸、洪水,即使你消失在人海,大海捞针他依然会找到你。­如果他答应你的事却没有做到,哪怕那只是一个电话。不要给他找借口,他真的很忙所以忘了至少他真的与我道歉了”……­

他很忙,你也不轻松,这个城市有谁不忙?­

是忙到即将就任美国总统,还是一个小时有好几亿的生意要谈?­

有手机、有快速拨号、甚至有语音拨号,有时压根没想打电话,电话就从裤兜里拨出去了, 如果真的喜欢你就不会忘记,如果忘记说明他不在乎你失望。男人对自己想要的东西是永远不会说“忙”的。

 

如果他暧昧不清。­

不要替他解释:他以前受过伤他刚刚分手/离婚,他想慢慢来他习惯了自由”……­

一个男人若是真的喜欢你,就不会暧昧不清,就会昭告天下对你的所有权。­

如果喜欢你,但由于私人原因想慢慢来,他会立即把这一点明确告诉你。­

他不会让你猜来猜去,因为他不想让你失落而离他而去。­

 

如果他不愿意见你的朋友和家人,他不愿意带你走进他的圈子,说因为这只是两个人的事,

那么请自动翻译成我只想用你来消磨时间我不太喜欢你­

 

如果他背叛你。­

不要去想:他喝多了那只是偶尔出现的意外他是不小心的”……

背叛没有借口。­

背叛这种事情是不会不小心就发生的,他不可能说噢,我不小心摔了一跤,正好摔到别人床上去了。­

 

如果他都喝得醉醺醺才来找你,而不愿意在清醒时为你改变,

那么就该离开,­因为长远的生活是需要清醒的。­

 

如果时机成熟但他依然不想结婚,也许仅仅意味着不想和你结婚­

那些说“不想结婚”的人最后一定会结婚,只是不是和你。

 

如果他不断的与你分手,然后又来找你和好。­

 

如果他突然莫名其妙的消失了。

 

如果他是已婚。­

 

那么多那么多的如果,其实都只有一个答案。­

有时我们宁愿相信一个男人太害怕、太紧张、太自卑、太爱前女友、太敏感、太忙、童年阴影太多、家庭压力太大、太累……­

却不愿意看清很简单的事实。­

是的,他不是太忙,不是受过伤,­

不是有童年阴影,不是遇到了意外,­

不是要就任总统,不是脑震荡得了短暂性失忆,­

不是手机掉进了火锅,不是有健忘症,­

更不是你已经坚强到可以令他不担心,他只是没有那么喜欢你而已。

 

于是有人问说,要怎么去相信,他是喜欢你的。­

在这个所有规则都可以被打破,所有道德都在慢慢消散的世界里,要怎么去坚定地相信?­

请你,忘记半个多小时之前,我说过的所有规则。­

永远别相信规则,相信自己的感觉。­

我想这个时代更需要一点自欺欺人,告诉我们自己他其实很爱你,­

叫你放心投入地去对待一个人,没有怀疑没有疑问揣测跟试探。­

还记得我们说过的拼命奔跑,华丽跌倒吗?­

在爱情里,也请勇敢地、坚定地、拼命奔跑吧,­然后,即使跌掉,你也可以说,自己是华丽的。

 

“我也许是太敏感太会小题大做,但至少那意味着我还在乎。­

  你以为用上这些所有能看透女生的规则你就赢了吗?­

  你也许不会再受伤,也不会再让自己出糗尴尬,但是你也永远不会再体会到那样的爱。­你不是赢,是孤独。­

  也许,我做了很多很傻的事情,可是我知道,这样的我会比你更快找到那个对的人。­”

 

也许所谓的happy ending并没有包括要给你一个perfect guy,也许所谓的幸福结局,就是抱着永不放弃的希望,继续前行。­

拼命奔跑,华丽跌倒。

 

11/3/2009

Eat, Pray and Love

 
What is the true meaning of "happiness"? Umm ... people always say " pursue the happiness", well, i guess it is not sth you can chase after, to me, it should be a feeling ... an artistical expression of your inner spirit rather! Haha sounds so profound, yeah indeed, it is! Cuz feeling itself is a complex, i wonder why we must have so many feelings, happy, sad ... mad .. crazy .... moved ... heaps of feelings that we cant run away .. cant escape too! I used to think being happy was easy, a smile, a laughter, a happy tear .. these are happiness we call, as we grew up, i realized i was wrong. Happiness is far more complicated than a facial expression, really! And ironically, even a smile, laughters ... seem harder than before! Adults problems ... arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
 
Been confused and puzzled for a while, wondering why! Umm ... actually, i wanna say " love is all around", just we would rather be blind, or we become so numb, dumb and stunned that we dun wanna admit! One of my friends Lynda said this to me, she said we all should be stay contented then everything will seem easier than ever! She is so damn right .... we demand too much, admire too much ... envy too much ... ask for too many things in life... these endless desires make us not see the true world, block us to see the most beautiful things ... when we eventually get what we want, we will never stop wanting MORE! I always think we should search something beautiful within ( it is an entitlement as a human being), no matter how slight! I m sure the inner beauty is more powerful than anything else! My confession here, i have been neglecting too many precious moments in life, I pretended not to see. I m stubborn to hold onto the bloody reality that never existed once, want to believe that broken wings still can fly high ... just like a stoned prophet! Sounds like an idiot? Oh right! that was me! .... time is up, had enough! Finally, i came to my realization, all i need is just the tiny happiness! all i need is still that smile, the same courage ... hugs, motivations ... everything is still the same. they look exactly as they did. I am glad they stayed and i made a comeback! i hate being lost, i m so scared of being found too ... frighteningly terrify. So what can make you happy? When can you feel this happiness? umm .. I think when you smile from heart, then you are happy! When you feel so contented, then that is the happiness! Simple like that! When I am down, in trouble .. low spirit, i look for the familiar smile and cheerful words to lift me up! I love being with friends in the crowd, not lack of security but miss their happy faces and stupid jokes! that is when I can laugh out aloud like no one is around! I m also so greedy with that strong and supporting eyesight, I love to look into his eyes, cuz i see love ... I m truly blessed, i think!
 
Is it a complaint or a self-confession, rather? Or both ... whateva! I m reading a book called << eat, pray and love>> such a wonerful book that i hope all my dear friends will read it. I strongly recommend the book cuz the author is not writing a story book but her life journey, from misery to mercy! I laughed with her words, admired her courage, such a brave lady! These 3 words precisely describe why and what we are here today! We eat to live our lives, we pray for the best things to happen in our lives to make everything worth and love the people around us ... this is life! A perfect life I will call! Wish everyone for the most prosperous life and future. Life is full of hopes and dreams, so keep dreaming on, u will be there one day!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
11/2/2009

下雪了

北京的第一场雪很早, 11月的第一天就漫天飞雪了, 洋洋洒洒的下了一天让我有些不能适应啊!尤其是今天早上的气温让我更是就想蜷缩成一团, 冬天真的来了! 也不提前通知我一声... 哎 啧啧啧!
 
今天零下了, 终于啊! 我把能套的都套在了身上可怎么风一吹就透了呢? 偏逼我穿羽绒服难道? 哎.. 无奈! 明天再说吧哈! 冬天本来就干北京的冬天就更干了, 脸就像要掉了一样的干裂成了几半, 哈哈没有那么夸张哈 小女子我天天去美容院补水啊面膜啊按摩啊, 哎 生活嘛就要对自己好一点不然活着还有什么意思呢? 最自己, 我绝对不客气也不糊弄哈!
 
一年过得真快!!!! 原来没发现,这些年觉得时间是最不抗过的了比钱还不靠谱呢! 于是乎我有了一个想法 - 能玩赶紧玩吧, 能折腾赶紧折腾吧, 还等什么啊???再等就真的没有时间和精力了! 哎....哈哈 一声叹息啊! 你说这么些年我到底都忙乎些啥啊? 怎么还有那么多事情没有做呢??? 越做越多的事情啊.... 这就是人生!
 
朋友的老公从西安出差回来了, 周末听了好多关于西安的故事, 不管真假啊只要能说服我就是真的! 真好听, 真神奇, 我酷爱那些传奇的故事和人物, 必须去哈! 赶紧订票我要去西安啊! 不禁钦佩起秦始皇的勇气啊!
 
最近和朋友的聚会增加不少, 个个星期周末啊都有朋友请客吃饭找着各种各样的理由, 太和谐了! 其实无所谓吃什么, 就是喜欢那么多人围成一团的瞎侃胡说八道哈哈哈... 准备组织大家来我家玩哈, 做几个拿手的好菜吧... (有吗????) ... ummm ... 思考中!!!!! 哈哈 还是很冷!!!
10/20/2009

真雷人!

 
最近一直被雷着, 大错特错的选择让我这个后悔啊! 先是兴致勃勃的和同事翘班去看<<狼灾记>>, 之后又看了<<追影>>, 我的妈啊是不是走后门才上的戏啊? 吴镇宇的那口"标准话", 还有那些山寨版的明星们, 让我哭笑不得啊! 罢了罢了, 昨天的<<Year One>>让我更是迷茫, 能上点有质量的戏吗还是不好看的都让我给看了啊? 郁闷中inggggg
10/13/2009

建国大业

说不上期待吧可是为了这个演员阵容我也早想去看了, 为了配合祖国60周年啊哈我终于去看了<<建国大业>>哈. 虽然我可能有点俗了不过我确实觉得挺激动的, 中间毛主席检阅的时候自己还哭了, 那种场面是我们这些80后所不能体会的!
 
虽然有人说这个片子有点像流水账, 可是那些真实的历史也挺值得让我们记住的, 如果所有的历史都能用这种大场面拍成一部电影我想历史还会有不及格的吗? 唐国强版的毛泽东真太真实了! 我喜欢张国立版的蒋介石, 其实老将也可以张的那么帅啊!!! 哈哈 ... 严肃哈! Hmmm...从来没有因为自己是中国人而感到过什么骄傲啊, 自豪的当然也没有感到什么可耻啦, 就是个中立因为这个事情我说的不算啊... 可是我也从来没有想要放弃过它,骨子里还是对祖国有希望有信心的! 好多人都说中国人啊素质差, 就这么样了什么的...其实我的观点很简单, 任何一个国家就跟一个人一样, 有好有坏! 如果永远只能看到他的坏那好的一面永远都会被掩盖了..外国的月亮就圆吗? 反正我没有见到过那么圆的月亮, 还是自己家里好啊! 别人再好也是别人的不是吗??周围的朋友都在忙乎着移民啊绿卡啊去做移民监, 我不是没有想过不过再看看周围那些已经移过去的朋友们竟然多半都在为了每天的生计而忙碌奔波着, 工作不是体面的, 生活不是享受的, 条件确实艰苦的! 哎, 看看他们突然觉得有意思吗? 讲着不是自己的语言在不是自己的国家里每天度日如年的生活还要在别人面前装体面快乐, 我宁愿"坐在劳斯莱斯里面哭也不愿意睡在天桥底下装快乐" 这个就是小女子的观点!!! 就是曾经体会的太深切了所以才会有今天的无比清醒, 中国再不好至少它能让我想活的有多虚荣就有多虚荣, 想怎么腐败就能多腐败, 想怎么折腾就怎么折腾, 想怎么玩就怎么玩 ... 在国外我能吗? 我很肯定的回答: NO WAY啊! 我一个姐妹说的特实在可是特正确,她说: "现在最聪明的人就是在中国挣钱去外国花", 我十分赞同, 虽然俗气可是确确实实, 现在都是外国人蜂拥而上的来中国淘金, 经济危机让我觉得危机都是外国的事儿跟中国没关系 ... 危机中没有几个倒下的! 该火的还那么火, 反而国外的那些大牌子都让中国农民企业家给吞了... 太牛XXXXX了! 如果你见过国外的L.V店那就会知道啥叫有钱了, 里面真正在付款的都是中国人, 几个几个包买的也都是中国人哈哈虽然没有啥好自豪的可是确实见过此种场面!
 
继续<<建国大业>>的话题哈, 我吧其实不是什么爱国主义者天天其实也就为了自己的那么点快乐而努力奋斗者哈. 小样的一句话: 这叫蚂蚁的幸福!!! 我就觉得吧只要我幸福了这全天下的人就都幸福了哈.. 所以在努力的为了人类解放而拼命的折腾着呢, 这个"十一"过的挺自豪啊,莫名的吧虽然跟自己的关系真的不太大那种瞩目的感觉也另我们都很幸福哈! 嘻嘻 ... 等我60了我也办个隆重点的! 反正嗷嗷有感了, 对了昨天我看了史上最恶心人的一片叫<<寻狼记>>,Oh My God!!! 2个小时之后竟然没有人看懂这个片子的中心思想, 每个人那张puzzled的脸啊! 浪费我的时间和金钱啊!!!! 导演: 田壮壮! 傻二一名啊!!!!
 
不说了, 一说就跑题了哈! 回家去喽!!! 一回大连皮肤老好了, 这刚回来北京几天脸又打回原形了! 我这个郁闷啊, 继续做脸吧!!!
 
10/12/2009

Back to life

 
Phew .... finally logged on again after so long! The whole me is on a big strike .. brain is so numb maybe tongue as well. The most horrible holiday I have ever had .. been so sick and been put on drips. Sighing! I am feeling restlessly tired and exhuasted! So wish I could be somewhere else now!!!
 
Well, no matter how much I dun like, i m back to my normal life! The life I used to love much and look forward to ... but now I am off it .. had enough .. I am just over it ... need a way out, need a change to make myself more alive! Arrrggghhhhhhh ....
8/31/2009

周末看球 国安VS山东鲁能

终于啊上个周末去现场看了个球, 什么巅峰之战! 非常郁闷的是买的是最贵的票结果被那些义愤填膺的国安球迷们全给占了, 还告诉我说不按座位坐! 妈呦, 我一看这个架势算了吧 还是自己悄悄地找个地方坐下吧谁叫人家是娘家客呢?
 
早听说国安的"御林军" 很强大很霸道, 今日一见我靠, 太疯狂了!!! 霸道的是那么没有素质, 那么的没有风度!!! 鲁能的球迷默默的被安排到了球门后面的那片儿, 真可怜! 从来没有见到全场起立高喊: " 傻逼"霸气场面!!! 这些球迷们啊拯救了整个中国足球啊, 我心里纳闷啊中国这个足球凭什么配有这样一群忠实的球迷呢???? 我就是想去现场看看气氛而已... 其实很想看国安和大连的一场球赛! 可惜错过了....
 
哎 突然想起了我做球迷的的那段日子... 也是如此的疯狂如此的陶醉啊!!! 胜也爱你,败也爱你几乎成了我的口头禅了! 现在啊 .. 哎 不做球迷N年了! 伤心了 ... 离开了... 几乎绝望了!!! 想念"大连万达"的日子不是因为万达总是夺冠, 而是爱那份激情!!! 那份本属于足球的激情!!! 万达不在了, 迟尚斌走了 .. .李明, 郝海东.. 孙继海的年代就好像还在昨天... 我们一群天真烂漫的小女生追着他们的大客车高呼: 必胜!!!!
 
时分想念和Dana在墨尔本看footy的日子啊 .. 让我羡慕的MCG啊!!! 虽然还不太懂那些footy的规矩可是总会被场上的气氛所深深的感染啊!! 下次一定要坐在下面哈!!! 人应该有点爱好!!! 活着连点爱好都没有, 那还算活着吗???? 唉  啧啧啧!!!!NBA下个月在中国要比赛, 我订了票.. 去看看NBA哈 搞不好我也能好这个! 多方面培养!!! 嘿嘿....
8/26/2009

back to service

前几天也不知道怎么了我的space也不能update了, 开心网也崩溃了 .. 啥啥都不好用了! 让我很郁闷! 今天突然好了, 真和谐!
 
喝水的杯子今天早上又丢了, 能不能行了啊? 那可是我最喜欢的"玫瑰情节"啊!!!! 妈呦 我这都找了一个早上了, Tina看我可怜就把她的一个新的杯子给我用了, 呜呜 .. 谢谢小T可是这个杯子长的跟忍者神龟一样!!!! 哎 ...还是谢谢哈!
 
天气转凉了, 舒服多了! 可是我又开始担心着冬天的到来, 冷! 最让我期待的事情就是"10.1"要来了, 哇咔咔咔咔 终于要回家喽!!!! 太好了, 我要去游泳我要出去玩哈.. 十一准备组织家里人去近郊游去!!! 正在紧锣密鼓的准备当中呢!!! 和谐....
 
时间过的真快!!! 又一年almost要过去了. 最近考虑的事情还真多.. 要命! 觉得自己老了, 脑子都烂了!!!! 天也坏了.. 整个世界都要崩溃了, 哪哪都那么不和谐啊, 不是爆炸就是大火要不就是坠机 还有就是流血 ... 哎 你说这个世界是怎么了? 难道玛雅文化的寓言是准的??? 末日了.....啧啧啧....
 
 
8/14/2009

Grateful

 
Sometimes I do wonder what are friends for? But sometimes, I should say most of the time, I think I m just so mean to think like that! Umm ... when things go wrong, during the rainy days, I would rather not believe in who they are and what they do .. well, guess I am wrong, again!
 
Got my very good friend's message last night, and touched deeply! All my worries and distrust are gone just in a blink, instead, was full of gratitude of my friend for being so understanding and tolerant! She could be still mad, she could be still angry ... she could not forgive but she chose the most delightful way to just forgive and forget ... now I can finally put my heart at ease. Looking at myself in the mirror, thinking what kinda of friend i am to all my dear friends? Wish I could be the better one for all!
 
So glad we still have friends to share our sorrow and sadness with whenever we are down ... it has become a part of my life ever since I knew the true definition. I have seen the most sincere friends who walked into my life when everyone else stepped off; I have gone through the most painful betray to screw up all our memory; I have missed someone who would only appear once in my life and never returned; I have experienced the most stormy days with my best friend Cynthia; have cried ourselves to sleep at night with Sarah and Yilin; have accepted the biggest hug from Vanessa when she saw my return; have had the greatest fun with Lucretia and Joanna etc ... had the most drunk night with Summer, had the funniest friend Francesca .... I wish I could name you all really .... simply becoz everyone of you has given me a piece of memory that I wanna forever lock with me ... so precious, extraordinary and pure!!! I miss you!
 
Must thank my very good friend Angelica for making me feel so again after so long when I m nearly numb and feeling so dumb! Forgive me if I failed to tell you how good everything you are! You are ....
7/31/2009

算了吧

 
最peaceful和happy的时刻就是能来到自己的blog上看看, 踩踩...真好! 看看自己写过的话, 那些字那些词说的真好! 最喜欢看自己贴的那些照片, 数着自己去过的地方, 去一个地方就在地图上插一面小旗, 真好! 我觉得能把我所有的钱都花在旅游上是最幸福的事对我来说, 朋友说我为了航天和旅游事业做出了莫大的贡献, 其实我不以为然, 我觉得人总要有点追求, 而我的追求就是- 看世界!!!! 如果能再奢侈点我会说: 我能再看一遍吗???? 啊哈哈 ... 其实想想 等有一天老了, 不能动了, 甚至是要永远的闭眼的那一刻, 能自我感觉满足和充实该是多么有意义的一件事情啊! 我想我会的... 嘻嘻 所以, leave my footprints to the world! 还有些朋友说这得有经济基础, 哎, 其实真的没有必要, 有钱就住五星酒店坐头等舱, 报名参加豪华游的团, 如果资金有限就去近的地方, backpacker式的旅游模式也一样有趣啊? 旅游不是奢侈的度假, 旅游就是要走走看看交交新朋友! well,对于我来说 真的就这么简单! 所以, 别等了, 赶紧订下一个计划吧!umm...我的下一个计划是要和朋友们去菲律宾, 大家一起存钱一起旅行, 一起吃一起住一起笑一起胡说八道游走在一个陌生的城市里, COOL!!!!!突然好想那年我们一起开车去Downsouth的情景, miss那个不算大的cottage, miss我们半夜在海边把Jo扔进大海里时的畅快!!!! Miss我们手牵手走在20米高的大树之上 .... 有些人有些事是一辈子都值得珍惜的!虽然没有联系了, 虽然好多朋友都各奔东西了, 可是每当你们在我的脑海里划过的时候, you still make me smile and brighten my day!
 
刚才本来挺不开心的, 可是想到了这些突然觉得, 我靠, 还穷烦恼什么啊? 知足吧!!!! 烦恼都是自找的, 我信! 现在好了, 无所谓!对于这种小屁事儿, 我挥挥手说: 无所谓!!!! 开心最重要! 就等十月了, 弄个短途的旅游吧, 想组织家人去哪里玩玩, 自驾游也成哈, 正在努力的search destination呢, 去哪里玩不重要,只要跟对的人在一起!!!! 你们听说过蚂蚁的幸福吗???? 这种幸福是最让我感动的, 一步一步地的挪着前进为了找寻着那类属于自己的米粒儿奋斗不懈! 将幸福奋斗到底吧!!!! 加油啊 我最最亲爱的你们!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Rachel Dear

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